This is the year of moving forward. I finally resigned from a job that hadn't filled my soul for many years. After dreaming about it I am finally in India for three weeks.
I'd hoped to find something here. Not sure what I'm looking for. I believe with all travel we find bits of ourselves we've left behind in the day to day.
At home we go from job to home to errands and act in the ways we 'should'. We visit family and old friends and find ourselves in old patterns because your people haven't seen us change over the past 10, 20 or 30 years.
At home I lose myself trying fit in, being someone or something I'm not. I think it's more natural to slide into a more authentic 'you' when you're physically moving and interacting with strangers.
India and travel in general have been a respite from the roles I play at home but this journey is hard travel. India is loud and overwhelming at baseline.
We had an agenda for this trip. I thought it would make it easier. So far we've been on our itinerary. Starting with Delhi...
Then Agra...
And now Goa, a small province on the southwest coast of India.
Goa has the reputation for laid back beaches and partying. My travel buddy Cecilia and I have traveled in Asia before and agree Goa reminds us of Thailand and the Philippines. Except, it's a little dirtier and less relaxing.
I admitted through tears that the trip felt less like my dream trip and more of a slog at this point. I explained I wish we'd planned to go to Dharamshala in the north.
Instead of telling me to suck it up, (which is what I expected) Cecilia said, "let's do it!!!, let's go north!". I'm so grateful she's here.
With a happy heart, we booked flights and we're off to Dharamshala at the foot of the Himalayas tomorrow.
Ask for what I need (for the 1000th time).
Don't stay in a place that doesn't feed your soul.
Next time I'll try not to cry first.